July 2, 2008

kaylin marie mathews

so much has happened between us. most of it is far too personal & painful to write about on a blog. i just wish i had been there for you more in these past few years. i'm so sorry. you probably have no idea how much i loved you & still do love you. & you have no idea how much i miss you now that you are gone. what i wouldn't give to have just one more chance to see you. i just hope that you have finally found some peace which is something i don't think you ever found in life. i love you witchbaby.
(kaylin marie mathews : 1988-2008)
(ventura county star news report)

[if you anyone could give me more information on the person(s) who left her i would be eternally grateful, i will even pay if it's necessary. i want first & last names, phones numbers, home addresses, etc.]

UPDATE @ 3:11PM on july 4th 2008:
(another ventura county star news report)

a memorial video of kaylin:

& 2 videos of her spinning:

(soe fifty-50 session 19 dedicated to dj sativa/kaylin on july 11th at 129 e 3rd street, la.)


Jellybean said...

I found your blog when I googled Sativa's name :( I'm glad you enjoyed my picture enough to use it.
She will forever have impacted my life...

but death is the next great adventure. She's in peace now.. She's "Gods" DJ. :)


erin lynne said...

i really liked your picture a lot. i think it really captured kaylin.
she's impacted so many lives in the short time she was here. i hope she impacted yours in a good way. do you know if/when there will be a memorial service? if there isn't one would you be interested in arranging one with me & a few other of kaylin's friends? i hope your doing ok. stay safe.

Anonymous said...

I have been following up this story closely and it breaks my heart. I live in the area and its so hard when something like this happens and always seems so tragic. I dont have an enormous amount of information but I read that it was a male and something else was mentioned about seminal springs trailer park.

Anonymous said...

i heard it was her boyfriend, but i don't know how accurate my source was.

Jellybean said...

if you need to talk.. i'm here. :) i can tell you whatever i know. just go to sativas page.. i'm the 5th one on her friendlist "shellz/jb".

SOE is trying to get a party together in her memory on July 11th.

Anonymous said...

the guy who left her...
his name is weston.
he left her on the road on monday night.
he turned himself into the police on tuesday.
there is a memorial set up on the corner of kanan dume rd. and agoura rd. in agoura hills.
her close friends are trying to set up a memorial at the beach (not sure which one yet)
she loved the ocean...
her family is taking her back to texas for the funeral..
she'll forever be with us.

Anonymous said...

this is so fuct up i have no idea what 2 say keep me informd on the memorial please --Dose *818*601-9948

Anonymous said...

i, too, need to know details. i wish they were having a memorial here in the valley/agoura that i would be able to attend, but they're taking her back to Texas.

i've been depressed for days now and everything reminds me of her. i loved her. she just got in with bad people. people who i didn't know. i was assuming it was something to do with her ex, but this "weston" guy, i have no idea who that is.

anyone with any further information, plz please please let me know. :(

~Ninja Ally
to contact:(12th top friend on her myspace)

Jellybean said...

I'm glad she's getting a memorial atleast. I want to go. Really really bad.
but I'm guessing it'll probably be for family only.

This is so hard. I don't know how to deal with it.

erin lynne said...

to anonymous commenter#3: i knew his first name was weston along with the rest of the details. but i want to know more about this person. does he have a myspace page?
& it doesn't surprise me that her family is bringing her back to texas. but it does make me a bit sad because i'm not sure that's what she would have wanted...
she did love the ocean a lot. i used to call her ariel (like the little mermaid) but that was also because of her hair.
please keep me updated on any memorials that might be held in this area (southern california, agoura, la, etc.)

jellybean: i feel you. this is so incredibly hard & i'm finding it too hard to deal with. especially because i have so many regrets & things that i wish i had done but hadn't. hopefully we'll find a (healthy) way to cope with this.

Chad said...

I am Kaylin's uncle and thank you for this tribute. She will be greatly missed by everyone. The Kaylin I knew for over 13 years was different than the one many of you knew. Prior to moving to California, she grew up in church, loved singing and quoting the Bible. She became a Christian at a young age and loved Jesus. I am sure she would want to be in Texas near where her grandma is buried and the majority of her family lives there. Was Weston the only one involved or were their others? Please provide more details. I believe she is now safe in the arms of her Savior. Thanks. cbashor@yahoo.com

Lisa said...

I would really love to see her myspace.. does anyone have it?

please email the link


Thank you!

Kelly said...

Hi this Kaylins Aunt Kelly, We appreciate all the tributes that have been made for Kaylin. I loved My sweet baby very much. I want yall to know the reason we are bringing her to Texas is because she needs to be here with us and we want to lay her to rest by her nanny. Her and her nanny were very close and had a special bond Kaylin did love the ocean but she loved her nanny more. Her parents hope to return to Texas one day so we do need her here so please try to understand. I love seeing the pictures you have of her even though some were not protrayed as I knew her. Again thanks for her tribute.

Kelly said...

I also forgot to let you know that it is 1988-2008. thanks

Shelly / Jellybean said...

I'm glad her family has seen this.

There is a shrine set up at this location: approximately 5013 Kanan Road, Agoura Hills, CA. the southwest corner.

Some random guy found her page and the story and took pictures of it and sent it to me. I'm going to head out there on Sunday.




the kaylin i knew.. was not a bad person at all. she was responsible.. she was a free spirited hippie who lived life to its fullest, no matter what was bringing her down. she always had a smile on her face. she was always there to help whoever she could.

i understand your reasons for taking her back to her family. :) its just hard for us to not be able to go visit her, but it would be a million times harder for her family to not be able to.

her friends are putting together a memorial service at the beach for her sometime next week. the details have not been worked out.

she will never ever leave my thoughts. i think she will be with me every day.. like an angel.

her death will have not been in vain.

we love you kaylin marie.. our sweet sativa. <3

one thing i really want though.. is for her rave items to be taken care of.. cherished. not just thrown out. the scene was a big part of her life, and she loved it very much.

i'll probably check this page all the time, but here is my link if someone wants to contact me via myspace: myspace.com/missdisgrace. i put up every picture of her i could find on my myspace.. check it out if you want. sorry if you are offended :(

and here is kaylins: www.myspace.com/ms_sativa

kiddo said...

i can't believe this has happened. i heard about this on wednesday through michaels, whom was a really close friend of her's. i was a close friend as well. i just can't believe it. its so hard to believe someone so young, and so innocent would be involved in what has happened. one of the last times i saw her was at a fifty50 party and michaels is throwing a fifty50 party as a tribute to kaylin aka sativa. i'll be spinning. it just sucks because she was just starting to dj at parties as well and was good at it considering she was just starting out. sucks that all this and other opportunities she was given is being taken away just like that. its one thing that she overdosed accidentally or whatnot, but for the person who was with her at the time to just leave her body on the side of the road like that?? couldn't even have the decency to at least drop her lifeless body at the hospital?! this is a human being, not an animal. was this person so scared of being in trouble with cops that they could not do that? geez. this is so sad.

i can't believe this has happened.. you will forever be missed, kaylin.. and i'm sorry that the last few times we've talked or hung out weren't so great.. and i don't blame you for anything that has happened and i know the same goes for you towards me. i miss and love you.. you will be greatly missed. this is just so tragic and upsetting to know this has happened.

...its so hard to process. ='(

[misses you dearly]

- kiddo

Shelly / Jellybean said...

and I would also like to ask that her family please not think ill of any of her raver friends. atleast not her close ones. We would of never ever let something like this happen to her. Had we known.. we would of prevented it. She wasn't like that in the scene. She wasn't about the drugs. She was about the music and the ideals. She was one of the smart ones. One of the true ones. Which is also why this is so shocking...

I have so many questions I want answers to.. but I don't think anyone has the answers to them yet...

Kim said...

Erin, Doug and I truly appreciate the tribute to Kaylin. Our heart's are broken as we morn the loss of our baby girl. I cannot believe that my baby is gone. This is just such a shocking blow to us. We are taking her home to Texas, but we have been asked about a memorial for her here. Right now we need to get through one thing at a time and as of now we have still not been able to even see her. We have not ruled out a memorial here for all of you to attend. Right now we just need to get through her funeral. There will be a slide show and if any of you have pictures you would like to share for it we would appreciate it . Please make sure if you do provide pictures that you identify them so they can be returned to you. I will try to make sure that a copy is made available for her friends to view if possible. Our hearts are heavy and our grief is overwhelming. We know you were all important to her. Please give us the time to grieve. We know there are things that are important to you and that there are things that she would want her friends to have. As we go through her things we will let you know what we do not plan to keep. Many have asked about her dog. My heart breaks that someone would be so heartless as to put my child on the road. You also took something she loved dearly and abandoned it. We were able to find her dog and we have adopted her and she is safe with us. We are thankful to have been able to find her because Kaylin loved her so much. There are so many things that we do not know right now, but we will let you know of the arrangements.

Kim said...

Does the person who made the Rest in Peace picture at the memorial have an extra copy of the picture used? We need an obituary picture and that is such a beautiful picture of her that I would like to use it if I could.

Shelly / Jellybean said...

i can print a copy of it if you want.. and mail it or something? or you can. it doesn't matter.
i made this one: http://i28.tinypic.com/11aebza.png
one of the girls who lives around there printed it and stuck it up for her. you are more than welcome to use it. i'd be honored.

i'm glad you were able to find lady. and i feel really sorry for you. its hard for me, so i can only imagine how hard it is for her family. i only knew her a short time, you guys knew her her entire life..

if you are the lady i called on the 1st.. i am sorry. (it was a 805 # the last two digits are 53.. if it was you you'll know) i had gotten a call and i was trying to find out what happened. i didnt think it was real..i just called and asked if kaylin was home. i honestly do not even know who's number it is. it was one of the numbers i had reached her on previously.

i have uploaded every single picture of her that i could find and it's on my myspace. the picture album should be available to everyone, please go here: http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=71472528&albumId=2175939

i also wrote my own little "blog" that you can read here if you want: blog.myspace.com/missdisgrace

Anonymous said...


Here is a thumbnail version with no pixelation, as well as no text.

Here is a larger version, with slight pixelation, and no text.


I do believe that this is the original photographers site, where you will be able to find her contact information.

My deepest sympathy goes out to you and your family.

Lori said...

I am Kim's first cousin and I remember when sweet little Kaylin was born. She was such a joy to be around and since I am very close to Kim,Kelly,and Krista that it feels as if it was my own neice. It hurts deeply but my pain is also for the family. Kaylin was the first grandchild and was very special for seven years till the other grandchildren came along. So they had her all to theirselves for awhile. Kaylin was always so very sweet and funny. I remember how she would make me laugh. I remember how she loved her Nanny so much that she wanted to sing Roses Will Bloom Again at her nannys' funeral, she had a beautiful voice. Kaylin was so extremely smart, I know Kim was so proud of her. Kaylin had a heart for God and loved Him very much. I know that I know that she is in heaven, singing and dancing,with her Nanny. I'm thankful for the friends that she has that are giving her a memorial at the ocean.I think that is a beautiful sentiment. My last thought, live for God because you never know when you will take your last breath.Blessings on you, but mostly on the family that is hurting deeply. Pray for comfort and peace for all the family, especially Kaylins' Momma.
Lori from Texas

Kimba said...

This is to Kim, the rest of Kaylin's family, and all of her friends.

I've been constantly talking about my feelings towards Kalyin to everyone I've been seeing for the last couple of days. I, Kimberly Rose Shocket, mainly want to just say that I miss her greatly and I remember when there was a time when it seemed like we were the only people on earth. No one else existed when we were together. Then there was the agoura group: Kaylin, me, lauren, erin, brooke, mikki, and the others who showed up once in a while. We had some good times and I know we will never forget them. It's a real shame this had to happen to our girl. A lot of the "agoura kids" haven't been in touch that well lately, but I'm glad at least at one pointe we were all loving eachother. I still love all of you and I know Kaylin knew it, too. It hurts to think that I can't see her around anymore, but it feels good to know I never regretted becoming her friend so many years ago. Since 6th grade I've know Kaylin and I will know her forever more.

I have some pictures I will be uploading. I can't give you, kim, any copies just yet, but I will have them for you soon. If there is anything you can let me know about the funeral or anything like that I believe you still have my cell phone number. I bet ou remember how I was at your place almost everyday when we were in school together.

Fly away my Butterfly. I miss you.

Kimberly "Kimba" Rose Shocket

erin lynne said...

kim - i'm sorry for your loss. i can't even begin to comprehend the pain you & your family must be in. i have many many pictures of kaylin. i'm not sure of the best method to give them to you so for now i'll just post these links (in order from oldest to newest):
i'm sure i have some more & i'll keep posting them if/when i find them.

on a side note, i feel so bad about the pictures of her in the bikini. she asked me twice to send them to her & i kept forgetting to or i felt too lazy to upload them. now i regret not sending them to her so much because she never got to see them. it's so easy to beat myself up for all the things i should have done but didn't i'm sorry kaylin.

Trevor said...

My name is Trevor Evens. I've known Kaylin for years and years. We even dated for a few months, but that's ancient history now, really only a blip on the radar of our relationship since she will always be remembered by me as a wonderful, dear friend and musical companion, as we used to write music together, and we were planning on recording more, if not for this. I'm still absolutely torn up about it all. I'm shaking as I type.

The first I heard of this, I bought a plane ticket to LA as soon as I could. I'm sitting here now in Thousand Oaks waiting to hear information on a possible service or memorial get-together for the weekend.

If anyone has any information about a memorial, or just wants to chat, please call me at 818 - 383 - 2088. I flew down here and I want to celebrate Kaylin's memory with like-minded people.

I still can't believe it's all true.

<3 Kaylin. You're missed.

Trevor said...

Also, I have a couple old pictures of Kaylin from back when we dated on my old computer. I'll post them up later if they aren't already up.

Shelly said...

There will be a memorial service / picnic for Kaylin tomorrow ..
10 - 15 minutes away from her shrine.

Start showing up around 12:00, tomorrow.

If you can't get there till 1 - that's fine, we wont start without you.

Off kanan & smoketree --
[a park/ forest area towards Westlake]

If you would like to contribute ..
Here are some things that you can bring:

-Blankets or chairs [[if your butt would like that]
-Something to contribute to the picnic [drink, eat, plates, cups]
-And anything else you find sausy.

put those creative instincts to use ..
what would Sativa like?
: ]

I will change my phone number to an infoline later tonight -
in case there is a change of plans & - you know ..... what infolines do.

mikki : 818 - 309 - 5994.

Please re-post this, or make a phone call.

Let people know that this is happening.

Shelly said...


those are all the pictures i have for kaylin

erin lynne said...

here's another photo that jon mocey-hanton sent me:

Jacob said...


This is Jacob Bleu... We held a small memorial for her today at a recording studio that she used to record at. It was a good memorial and everyone was able to say their goodbuys. I wanted to ask the family if they could please send me the adress of where she will be laid to rest and her plot number so i can at least send somthing to her gravesite.

I will never forget the first day I meet her when I was a JR in high school and she was this adorable freshman. That girl had the most amazing smile and a laugh that could warm your heart on the gloomiest of days.

Kaylin I hope that your souls journey will be that of Nirvana and paradise. Dance in the sky with the rainbows and the stars of the night. We will be runited one day and dance together.

Jacob Bleu Sharp
(Buddy Bleu)

-Life is a Journey, Not a destination.


Shelly said...

the service today was quite nice. :) i feel like i got to know kaylin better through everyones stories and pictures. i took this video of kaylins shrine for anybody who hasn't had the chance to visit it.

i will be putting more photos into that photobucket account, too.


erin lynne said...

i wanted nothing more than to attend the memorial today & i'm so depressed that i wasn't able to go. i wish my 'friends' had been a tad bit more responsible & hadn't relied on the internet to let me know about the memorial. because no one took the time to actually contact me other than leaving comments on my blog or making myspace bulletins i had no idea this was happening. i found out two hours before the memorial started when i had already gone out to long beach & had no way to get back. that's just bullshit. thanks 'friends' for including me. (& just so you know my anger is not directed at anyone who has comment on the post. it was none of your guys responsibility to let me know. it was my friends who organized it who should have made the effort to make sure that i knew but because they were lazy, irresponsible or whatever their problem was i missed out on the opportunity to maybe find some closure or whatever else a memorial could have offered me.)

Kelly said...

This is Kaylins Aunt Kelly, Kaylins Funeral will be held in Borger, Texas at The Church of God on 700 Franklin street. Until her service she will be at Browns Funeral Home in Borger. We haven't been able to plan her services yet until they release her body to Texas. We are hoping to have the service on Friday. When we know for sure we will let you know. I believe a Jacob wanted to know she will be buried at westlawn cemetery.

Kelly said...

Hi this Kaylins aunt Kelly her funeral services will be at the Borger Church Of God in Borger, Texas and she will be buried at the westlawn cemetery. The churches address is 700 franklin her body will be at browns funeral home in borger we are hoping to have her funeral on Friday. We are still waiting for her body to be released to be sent to Texas. We will keep this updated for those who wants to know.

Kelly said...

sorry didn't mean for it to post again.

Kelsea said...

This is Kelsea Renteria.. I don't know if any of her other friends knew me... but me and Kaylin were best friends since we met in Fritch almost 5 years ago.. we were always together.. as a matter of fact I was there when she had her first turntable... There are'nt words to stress how I felt about her... I guess if words could cry. I live in Dallas now but at the same time we both went in different directions her to California and me to Dallas, I still have some old pictures of us together.. I dunno ths is such a hard time for me. I just recieved an email from her just May 26th.. I can't believe this.

Kelsea Renteria said...

My number is 214-723-2581 I'd like to speak with anyone who knew her out ther in California and possiby someone who was with her that night.. please I feel so helpless at this point on what's going on. I'm leaving for amarillo this thursday if what her aunt said is true...anyone please call me.


Trevor said...

Hey guys...

I found those pictures that I promised. I'm pretty sure no one has seen these for a long time - I sent them to Kaylin recently but I'm pretty sure that's it. This is before she raved - these are *wonderful* vintage Kaylin pictures. I luckily saved them from my old computer ... these bring back so many memories. Enjoy them everyone!


Anonymous said...

How I live on

Don’t be sad for me when I leave you
Because I am not actually gone
You lived in me and I live in you
And that’s how I live on

If you wish we had more years together
Why did you wait until after I’d gone?
Why not just keep me with you forever
Because that’s how I live on

When you remember me in the face of a child
Or if you dream of me just before dawn
Think of me; let your thoughts run wild
I promise, that is how I live on

Of all the troubles there are in life
There is nothing known for sure
I will be looking for you in the afterlife
God and I will be holding the door.

Nikki said...

Hi, Erin. We've never met, but Kaylin told me so much about you that I feel like I already know you. After Kaylin left Dan's in Calabasas, I hadn't been able to find her, but I always wished I could check up on her. Like you, I feel that I wasn't there for her toward the end. I know deep down that I will carry that burden for a long time. The last time I saw her she was just getting into raving. I wanted to thank you for posting those pictures of her, and to maybe speak more personally about this in an email, if possible. My gmail is slippie.slidey


bethany bashor said...

i miss you kayke from your bethyboo. aka bethany your cuz. i love you. 143 xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

all this trash talk about weston is u ppl trying to divert your own guilt! u ppl watched her kill herself every day and write it off as being a "free spirit" no she was a drug addict with friends and family who enabled her. She may have been a good person but so is weston. He has saved lives. He is a friend and a protector, maybe he dosn't make the best decitions but he is a good person with a heart of gold. And thats why hes in this mess because he wanted to help her and trusted her too much. he always wants to believe the best of people... but she was an addict for years.... soo... all u raver bitches partying in her memory screw you! u let this happen u watched her decent and u just want some one to blame. well u got it and now a decent persons life is being wasted his family is torn up and this has effected countless other families who just want this over with. thanx a ton assholes!...kaylin i hope to god your in a better place r.i.p.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
erin lynne said...

how can you defend weston? he may have been a "good" guy or whatever. but he made an awful decision. i agree that kaylin was a drug addict. her drug use scared me so bad that i distanced myself from her, stopped seeing her as much & now i regret it more than anything. for a long time i've beat myself up for not trying to help her but after going through rehab myself i've finally had to come to the realization that no one could have saved her from herself. but weston could have done the right thing & taken her to a hospital instead of dumping her like a piece of garbage. weston never saved lives, he had the oppurtunity to & he wasted that. he deserves to be punished for the fucked up thing he did. so fuck you & your misplaced sympathy.

kwallis said...

time is passing but she's still in our hearts. i just hope she's found peace wherever she is. <3

Alexander Bliss said...

im pretty sure almost none of you know who i am.
My name is Alex and I counted Kaylin as one of My Closest friends.
to those who thought she was an "addict" i say youre ignorant.
She Like many People her Age used Drugs Recreationally, just like myself.
big fucking deal.
This Weston Mutherfucker Deserves all that hes getting and a hell of a lot more.
if it had been me who found him,he wouldnt be breathing.
Kaylin was a free spirit, she was an old soul.
ive never known anyone who could see the poetry in everyday life like she did.
she's on my mind constantly, and she often visits me in my dreams.
sometimes i think i can feel her hand on my shoulder.
she was stolen from all those who care for her,each and everyday i wish i had gotten my hands on "weston" that piece of shit is gonna get his one day.
me and her were supposed to hang out the monday after that rave she went to. tuesday i got the call from an ex boyfriend of hers.
how fucked up is it to wake up to that call.
i think raves are stupid, a bunch of techno hippies tripping on happy pills listening to redundant seizure inducing music while they think theyre spreading true love peace and respect.
i keep a place in my heart for her music though, and i wish i had a picture with her.
"hes just a kid who made a mistake"
yeah a mistake that killed the sweetest girl ever, that too me does not speak of a man with a heart of gold, that speaks to me of a kid who's so scared for himself hes willing to let someone die for it.
no excuses. that kid is a prime example of what shitty people we have in this world.
when a man sits by and lets evil be done he's pathetic, when he perpetrates the evil its unforgivable.

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SHELLY RAE said...

Hey. I commented on this page nearly ten years ago. I'm shelly / jellybean. This event changed my life. It changed the way I saw parties. It changed the way I saw my friends. There has not been a year that's gone by where I haven't tried to celebrate kaylins life. I always reference this story to people who mention using drugs, going to parties, etc, as a reason why you must never be afraid to offer help to someone. It took me 5 years to get the courage to attend another party like we used to together. I continue to see our favorite djs live and hope she's listening and watching. I keep photos of her framed on my wall. I'll never forget Kaylin, and I do my best to make sure others don't forget her either.
I'm not sure why I'm commenting because I don't want to hurt the OP of the blog by bringing up old feelings but I hope if anyone sees this who knew Kaylin can find comfort in knowing her memory and spirit live on. She was truly like no one else.